me: omg gmail chat

what the fuck

Taku: lol wut

me: you are on fucking gmail chat

Taku: hahaha

me: that is whack shit

are you in your dorm

playing some modern warfare or some other shitty game

Taku: yep

me: ?

is your dorm smaller than a closet

in typical japanese fashion?

Taku: I am jacking off to jamaican S&M right now, and the dorm is five times larger than your closet.

me: fuck, i am a fashionable motherfucker so your dorm is probably 25m^2

Taku: about right

me: and email me the jamaican s&m, i need new stuff

the tibetian bhuddest smut is getting old


Taku: damn. gotten over that ages ago

me: have you found any vending machines that sell used-girls.................textbooks?

Sent at 6:57 PM on Friday

Taku Yamamoto: err.

not yet.

me: damn

Taku Yamamoto: but i am for sure it exists

me: i really need O CHEM edition 2 (not fucking 3) by matsumoto

and i am not paying 18,900円 for it

Taku Yamamoto: damn. that's one expensive motherfucker

Sent at 7:00 PM on Friday



Taku: yo
me: hi
sometimes i push my nose on my upper lip to see what it smells like
Sent at 1:18 AM on Saturday
Taku: but after a few trials I come to realize that my lips weren't all that flexible.
me: doing what
Taku: trying to smell my upper lips of course
me: sometimes i check facebook even though i only have 6 'friends'
maybe someone will post a video of a cat doing something stupid
Sent at 1:21 AM on Saturday
Taku: I go on youtube and search for something idiotic like "Look guys. I prank called Microsoft."
me: do they get put on hold for 3 hours?
Taku: no
me: 3 hours on hold would be a very interesting prank call
the prank would be on the listener
Sent at 1:24 AM on Saturday
Taku: I've watched several videos on how to fix the ring of death on the Xbox 360
me: you give up
maybe the xbox just wants you to go outside
Taku: One person called into Microsoft only to get solutions that never work
me: i dont think those are 'solutions'
Taku: the term 'solutions' and 'answers' to me are very different
answers are strictly those that work. usually there is only one 'answer'
but a 'solution' is usually suggested and are sometimes not guaranteed to work out
Sent at 1:28 AM on Saturday
me: my libido is so low that vaginas arent interesting to me anymore
i sit around 9 hours a day watching 8 minute long videos of girls playing with their hair in the least interesting way possible
i watch on mute so i can listen to pete namlook
Taku: i suggest you watch some Indian pornography
me: they have a lot of hair
Sent at 1:31 AM on Saturday
Taku: which is very controversial because Indians do not allow skin to be shown
me: ok
i will watch it
if there's a big musical number after the guy orgasms
and only if daler mehndi is involved
Sent at 1:33 AM on Saturday



taku00yamamoto: hi there
me: hi
i am watching a video of a cat freaking out
it makes me laugh
taku00yamamoto: A cat? Is that an animal?
me: i think so
but it has 4 legs so it might be a bug
taku00yamamoto: Bugs require more than 6 legs to be qualifed a bug
so I do not think a cat is a bug
me: oh
guess its an animal then
taku00yamamoto: are bugs not animals?
me: dunno
im going to re-lace my shoes
even though they're new
taku00yamamoto: I'll quickly wash my right hand while you go do that
Sent at 12:22 AM on Tuesday
me: back
i put 'cats are' into google and the first suggestion was 'cats are evil'
i think cats are usually boring
its just lucky that some people have a camera in hand when they do something weird
Sent at 12:25 AM on Tuesday
taku00yamamoto: sure is a mystery



if you thought i was going to discuss 'the game' then i guess you are still trapped in the year 2006 and need a time machine to come to 2011. a black man is president of the united states, he's a cool guy.

some time ago i went with one of my friends to 'the venue' nightclub on granville street. i think of him as a friend, but only in that we sometimes have conversations in class, he encouraged me to be his 'wingman' because his usual friend was sick, but he still wanted to have sex with strangers. anyway, i have never been there, but my friend said that the women were easy to have sex with. my friend had particularly good 'game' and had no trouble talking to the women there. he told me that it was easy, all you have to do walk up to one (rare) or two of them at the bar and say "[generic greeting], my name's [my name], [generic question with joke] " so i said okay and went for it. i met two girls, hanna, who was white with brown hair, with some okay tits (she was not wearing very many clothes) and ashra (i think that's how you spell it) who was east indian, her tits were okay too, and she was slim.

i cant remember much of the conversation, but i did a lot of talking and they laughed a bit. hanna laughed more than ashra, ashra didn't seem like she was having a good time, but hanna was touching my hand and stuff, but she indicated to me that she had the iq of a brick. my boner was at a mere 15%, so i no longer wanted to have sex with her.

my friend was doing okay as well, he found a nice looking lady and went off with her, probably to have sex, he looked very happy. i gave hanna and ashra some sort of generic goodbye, hanna seemed very surprised - somewhat upset - for some reason.

i saw my friend again a few days later at school.
'so what happened after the other night?' i asked him.
'we walked to my car, parked around the corner and had sex, how about you?'
'i left shortly after you -'
'nice, how was it? the white girl, right?' he interjected.
'i left by myself.'
'why dude? you looked like you had her in the bag'
'she seemed kinda dumb, my boner was at only 15%'
'oh, i kinda understand man, i can only make my final move if my boner at least 70%' i was happy that we agreed on quantified boner values.

our conversation went elsewhere after that. i would have raised some arguments, but i didn't want to make him feel bad.

a lot of men make a big deal about being able to have sex with strangers at a nightclub. surely women go to nightclubs with a sexual intent. many of them have told me that they just 'want to go out dancing' but they often end up having sex with another stranger.

if someone is partially drunk on alcohol, low intelligence, and horny, then i can only assume that it should be easy for anyone to convince them to have sex. on that note, it was mostly the fact that hanna seemed like a total skank that i wasn't interested in her. as i was walking out of the club, i wondered how many penises had been in her vagina. i felt somewhat disgusted, and unclean.

i didn't go with my friend the next time he asked me. i told him i didn't want to have sex with club skanks. he understood me, and didn't ask me again, which im okay with. he dropped the course a few weeks later.